Why do i ever still feel like wanting to write to him and ask "so are you not going to talk to me forever?"...?

One of the rarest times i just feel an impulse to do so.. though i don't know what's the point of doing so now. What do i intend to return anyway? Friendship? What for? So what if he replied me, if ever? 

Guess that, was the sole reason that i haven't done that yet.

Self control.
Rationale reasoning.

I know i cannot afford to screw up my life again.